Bad Press


The Inkwell’s Half-hour Challenge for October is themed “The Devil Inside” ( This is my offering:

I get such a bad press. The forces ranged against me are vicious and relentless. The lies and propaganda go unchallenged.
I’m in charge of retribution. I’m not supposed to be nice. God could do his own eternal damnation, but he doesn’t like to get his hands dirty, so he sub-contracts it to me. But I’m working for goodness, just like he is. If I wanted folk to be wicked, I’d be offering eternal happiness and fulfilment, not fire and brimstone. I want folk to be good: he’s the carrot, I’m the stick. Two sides of the same coin, working in tandem.
That snake was nothing to do with me. God created all the creatures of the earth: it says so, earlier in the same chapter. And he did the apple and the tree. Why do I always get the blame?
Let me just put you all right on the virgin birth thing. The New Testament makes a big play about Jesus being descended from Abraham and David, royal line and all that. Now, if that’s true (and remember, it’s supposed to be the word of God), then Jesus can’t be fruit of a virgin’s womb as well, now can he? Even allowing for magic and mumbo-jumbo, that one doesn’t hold water.
I was really pissed off about that thing in the desert. He was there all on his own, he hadn’t eaten or drunk for days. I offered him a way out. I was just being friendly. The good Samaritan gets praised to high heaven; I get called an evil tempter. Where’s the justice?
And saints and prophets are a pain. They come on all goody-two-shoes: make me sick. Well let me tell you. Remember that Lot? He was such a “good” guy, he offered his daughters to be gang raped. Don’t take my word for it: read for yourselves. So the “God of Love”, such a nice guy, having murdered everyone in Sodom and Gomorrah, lets Mr & Mrs Lot go, only to turn her to salt for looking back. A bit harsh, don’t you think?
Joshua killed every man, woman and child in Jericho, except for one prostitute. What was their crime, one wonders? Compared with him, I am a good guy. And the Canaan/Zion/Israel thing has turned out so well, hasn’t it?


About micklively

Fifty-something, pacifist, six sigma black belt, lean implementer, brewer, vintner, guitarist, wood-turner, and slave to collies.
This entry was posted in fiction, humour, writing and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Bad Press

  1. any1mark66 says:

    Nicely done. It’s almost sympathy for the devil, without the music.

I will be pleased to read your thoughts, even if you don't agree.

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s